What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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