What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops