Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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im @ work, LOL.

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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