Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Popsicles

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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Military intelligence.

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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Female Athletics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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