A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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