a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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AND

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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Female Athletics

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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The Bible

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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