What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

knock knock go away

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...