i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops