Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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P0P T4Rt

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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my names jim haha

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What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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