What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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