what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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