Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

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if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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In your case, maybe because it is time to stop thinking so much, and begin living life, if the world cannot appreciate a wise man such as yourself, maybe that man should stop being wise, and begin being happy.

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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