Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops