Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

wsde

what are you mike bibby?

A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

What the corn in the core? The mexican antelope.

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

Hail Hitler

What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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