What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

Why did the baby die? It got shot.

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

A man walks into a bar.

why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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