How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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