There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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Asian NASCAR.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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WOMEN'S RIGHTS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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