What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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what happens when you wake up inception

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How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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Men's rights

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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