A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops