An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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The truth is he loves her!!

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops