What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why? Because racecar.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jesus wept.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Libraries.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

thumb_up thumb_down -143

What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops