Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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