- Anti Joke

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

YOLO

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

Womens Basketball.

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

i like pie

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

Diana and victoria

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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