Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

A seal walks into a club.

Why can't jokes spit?

Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

Casey Anthony kills a baby

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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