Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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Your adopted

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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