Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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What do the angels say when god sneezes? Chuck bless you

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Japan

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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He--Hey guys

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

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Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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