why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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Tim likes girls

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A lot eh?

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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