Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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