Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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your mum

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

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mexicans fishing

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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