What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

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people magazine

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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