This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Penis

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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