A paralysed man falls over.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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