A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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asdasdasdasd

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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