a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

thumb_up thumb_down +17

identical jokes get different votes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Terraria

thumb_up thumb_down +17

yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

thumb_up thumb_down +17

PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops