How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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