A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

i knew this one arab, who was so arab that there was nothing funny about him

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

24

Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

your mom.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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