Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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How can you tell if a joke is skept? Tell it to raysean and see if he laughs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops