knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

how do you win a game try your best

How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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