- Anti Joke

What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

who else is on here?

People Eating Tasty Animals

A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

Can anyone Lenin money?

Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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