Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Bacon is delcious.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops