What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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A Sloth runs...

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops