What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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guest what i love pancakes

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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i read the terms of service when i posted this

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why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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where does someone with one leg work? -no where this is a recession

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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