eden stop

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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