What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

Ben Corbishley

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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