roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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I walk into a bar...

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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A man buys a prius

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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