A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

What's worse than bombs? Nukes

What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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