How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

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a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

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Neither have I

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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