Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

It got hit by a rocket.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down +6

koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's Blue and tastes like orange cake? A blue cake.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops