George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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The Moon Landing.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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i lyk 2 eet pup

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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