What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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42

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops